Instead of giving your significant other flowers to watch die, send flowers to your enemy with a note that reads, “You’re next!”
Going through a dark time?
Buy a flashlight.
The last ever dolphin message was misinterpreted as a surprisingly sophisticated attempt to do a double-backwards-somersault through a hoop whilst whistling the ‘Star Spangled Banner’, but in fact the message was this: So long and thanks for all the fish.
Anonymous asked: Have you done tumblrdatinggame(.)com yet?
No and I probably wont since I already have a boyfriend (:
Love & Peace
by MXHG
The weak quit smoking. The strong fight cancer.
If you see your ex running around screaming while covered in blood, stay calm, take a breath, and reload.
Sleeping is like dying, but without the commitment.
When snorting Coke, be careful. It is extremely difficult to get an ice cube out of a nose.
Today I broke my record for days of not dying. I plan to break it again tomorrow.
(Source: Spotify)
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
If not for you
My sky would fall,
Rain would gather too.
Without your love I’d be nowhere at all,
I’d be lost if not for you,
And you know it’s true.
